“THE VERY SLOW”

There are four faces in the world…

 Only four:

The Slow, The Very Slow, The Extremely Slow, and The Immensely Slow.

And it follows that:

The Slow rule The Extremely Slow,

And The Very Slow, The Immensely Slow.

Or is it…

The Slow rule The Immensely Slow,

And The Very Slow, The Extremely Slow.

Or is it…

The Immensely Slow rules The Slow,

And The Extremely Slow, The Very Slow.

Or is it…

The Immensely Slow rule The Very Slow,

And The Extremely Slow, The Slow.

Or is it…

The Immensely Slow rule The Extremely Slow,

And The Very Slow, The Slow.

Or is it…

The Extremely Slow rule The Immensely Slow,

And The Slow, The Very Slow.

"PRESS SECRETARY - MR INFO"

THERE ARE FOUR FACES IN THE WORLD... ONLY FOUR:

INFORMATION, DETERMINATION, DISSEMINATION, AND DISINFORMATION.

  AND IT FOLLOWS THAT:

INFORMATION RULES DISSEMINATION,

 AND DETERMINATION, DISINFORMATION.

OR IS IT...

INFORMATION RULES DISINFORMATION,

AND DETERMINATION, DISSEMINATION.

OR IS IT...

DISINFORMATION RULES INFORMATION,

 AND DISSEMINATION, DETERMINATION.

OR IS IT...

DISINFORMATION RULES DETERMINATION,

 AND DISSEMINATION, INFORMATION.

OR IS IT...

DISINFORMATION RULES DISSEMINATION,

 AND DETERMINATION, INFORMATION.

OR IS IT...

DISSEMINATION RULES DISINFORMATION,

 AND INFORMATION, DETERMINATION.

"GENETICS 101"

THERE ARE FOUR RACES. IN THE WORLD...

ONLY FOUR:

THE INTELLIGENT, THE BEAUTIFUL, THE STUPID,

 AND THE UGLY.

AND IT FOLLOWS THAT:

THE INTELLIGENT RULE THE STUPID,

AND BEAUTIFUL, THE UGLY.

OR IS IT...

 THE INTELLIGENT RULE THE UGLY,

AND THE BEAUTIFUL, THE STUPID.

OR IS IT...

THE UGLY RULE THE INTELLIGENT,

AND THE STUPID, THE BEAUTIFUL.

OR IS IT…

 THE UGLY RULE THE BEAUTIFUL

AND THE STUPID THE INTELLIGENT.

OR IS IT...

 THE UGLY RULE THE STUPID,

AND THE BEAUTIFUL, THE INTELLIGENT.

OR IS IT...

THE STUPID RULE THE UGLY,

AND THE INTELLIGENT, THE BEAUTIFUL.

“MY CONFESSION”

To the women I love...

My own honesty defeats me.

I am an honest man.

I have love you first...

Then...

That’s what’s really important,

And everything is secondary.

That’s what I live for...

For the love of you

Then...

That’s what’s really important,

And everything else is secondary.

This is my confession, my visit on earth...

Loving you is the most important,

Then...

And everything else is secondary.

So to the women I love,

See what I have,

And see what I have not.

I have only one wish...

To give her, her last kiss.

"MY CONFESSION, CONT''D."

      
      I HAD TO CONFESS TO A FRIEND OF MINE A MOST EMBARRASSING SECRET, AND FRANKLY I'M A LITTLE SURPRISED THAT IT WASN'T NOTICED SOONER... WELL, EEHH, I, HAVE A 44 POUND TONGUE... AND YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO SPEAK OR CHEW... I GUESS IT HAS ITS USES... 
     
     HER MAJESTY IS QUITE USED TO ME AROUND THE HOUSE... IT TOOK AWHILE, BUT IT WASN'T THAT DIFFICULT OWING TO THE FACT HER SON HAS A SIMILAR PROBLEM, BUT A LOT HAS SMALLER. 

“RÉSUMÉ”

EDUCATION:

University of Heidelberg 1410 – 1423

London School of Economics 1688 – 1692

University of Beijing 1748 – 1802

Stuyvesant H.S.

EXPERIENCE:

Court Jester to Lao Tzu Beheaded 610 BC

Assistant to Michelangelo Fell, 1517

Assistant to Ben Franklin Electrocuted, 1743

Court Jester to Louis XVI Beheaded 1794

Test Patient to Sigmoid Freud Dis-Charged 1923

Artist’s Model to Alberto Giacometti Starved 1936

Assistant to Albert Einstein Vaporized 1943

Artist’s Model to Jackson Pollack Loony Bin 1952

Court Jester to Richard Nixon Beheaded 1971

Court Jester to Richard Nixon Developed Brain Tumor, Died

HOBBIES:

Oraculation

MILITARY:

Private E-1

SPECIAL TALENTS:

None

PRISON:

Murderer of Johnny Cash

ASSETS:

3 Shells

LIABILITIES:

4 Shells

CONTACT: 212 555 – 1212