“RÉSUMÉ”

EDUCATION:

University of Heidelberg 1410 – 1423

London School of Economics 1688 – 1692

University of Beijing 1748 – 1802

Stuyvesant H.S.

EXPERIENCE:

Court Jester to Lao Tzu Beheaded 610 BC

Assistant to Michelangelo Fell, 1517

Assistant to Ben Franklin Electrocuted, 1743

Court Jester to Louis XVI Beheaded 1794

Test Patient to Sigmoid Freud Dis-Charged 1923

Artist’s Model to Alberto Giacometti Starved 1936

Assistant to Albert Einstein Vaporized 1943

Artist’s Model to Jackson Pollack Loony Bin 1952

Court Jester to Richard Nixon Beheaded 1971

Court Jester to Richard Nixon Developed Brain Tumor, Died

HOBBIES:

Oraculation

MILITARY:

Private E-1

SPECIAL TALENTS:

None

PRISON:

Murderer of Johnny Cash

ASSETS:

3 Shells

LIABILITIES:

4 Shells

CONTACT: 212 555 – 1212